Ask Me No Questions I'll Tell You No Lies
by Valeada
Summary: Have you ever wanted to ask a harry potter character a question, or to yell at them for something? Well here's your chance! Any character will do, and all reasonable questions will be answered! Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

So here's my idea for my new story. You write in questions to me for different harry potter characters, and I'll publish a new chapter once I get a few questions for a character. If I don't get enough questions to make a chapter for one character I'll make a combo of characters. So either review with your questions, or message me with them


	2. Chapter 2

**I've been meaning to update this in a while, I realize it's probably completely forgotten about by now, but oh well. Might as well keep it going. Anyways, on to the questions!**

**AliLuvsAli asks: Hermione: I'm asking you because you being the smart one should have thought of this, why didn't you just go into the room of requirement saying "I need to find where the horcruxes are and how to destroy them"? **

Hermione: Really? Are you completely unaware about the rules of magic and the room of requirement? The Room of Requirement cannot just summon already made items into itself, and if you mean asking for maps or something, well, let me explain. You see, if you read some of the earlier essays by...

Ron: Blody hell Hermione, nobody cares! Basically, AliLuvsAli, we couldn't. Plus, we couldn't just walk into Hogwarts while that git Snape was headmaster and we were being hunted by basically everyone in the bloody world.

Pansy Parkinson: And what do you mean **she's **the smart one?

_*General irritated grumbles, small shouts of "Shut up Pansy"*_

**Ehem. Anyways, next question. Cheetahluv16 asks: Fred and George: What's the BEST prank you've EVER pulled? **

George: Alright! We get to be in this!

Fred: Hmm, the best prank... Well, I'd have to say that one time during N.E.W.T. Time we replaced all of the telescopes in the astronomy tower with our punching ones!

George: That was hilarious! Half the seventh years had black eyes for a week!

Molly Weasley: You **What**?

George: Uh, nothing mum! Happy Mother's Day!

Molly: That was two weeks ago, George.

Fred: He's not George, I am!

Molly: Sorry, Fred, can't pull that anymore. Ears, remember?

Fred: Right...

George: I'll miss that...

Ron: I won't.

**Yami-of-the-darkness asks: hey peoples :P call me Yami  
Everyone: What do you think of A Very Potter Musical and the sequel?  
****Voldemort (Tom): what the hell! did you know you made Potter's life a lot worse then yours ever was ? cough *idiot* cough **

Harry: Yes! I loved it! But I'm glad that they got Daren to play myself, not me, I can't sing a note. Malfoy was brilliant though, played by a girl...

Malfoy: Save it, Potter. I thought it was complete rubbish. I am not a girl. And I know how to use the bloody toilet!

_Everyone snickers._

Malfoy: Wait until my father hears about this! But there was one good line: "In the muggle world, I'm what you would call a Duchebag." That's perfect for you Potter. Plus, I saved all of your arses in the sequel. And What on earth was all that gibberish about with me being in love with mudblood Granger over here? I don't like her! At **all**!

George: You just keep telling yourself that, Malfoy. Fred and I both really liked Voldy and Quirrel.

Fred: Yeah, it really made us laugh. Although Malfoy was still probably my favourite! Or maybe Snape...

Ron: I thought it was pretty good, but I wasn't really that obvious in liking Hermione was I?

Fred: No, mate, you were much, **much** worse.

Hermione: Come off it you two! Personally I was irritated by the numerous inaccuracies in their portrayals of the events. Their time line was completely off, the way they portrayed numerous characters was frankly insulting, and to be honest, I don't really think my hair was **that** bad...

Ron: Course it wasn''t, 'mione.

Fred and George: It totally was.

Voldemort: I nearly apparated to wherever they were to kill them in that first scene I was in. The dark lord never makes such foolish mistakes as _sneezing _when he is fulfilling one of his plans, and I do not _Dance_.

_Harry Snickers. _

Voldemort: Silence, Potter! The author may have stolen my wand, but there are other ways for me to kill you!

Ron: Yeah yeah, snakeface, you already tried at least like, 7 times, and that's just in person!

**Everyone, back to your corners! WE still have a bit mroe to go, then you can go back to killing each other, alright? Good, Voldemort, there's still that last question for you, answer it so we can all get out of here.**

Voldemort: There are so many ways I would enjoy killing all of you right now... But in response to that second question, Did I not realize I was making Potter's life a lot worse than mine had been, well I honestly don't care, in fact I'm glad the brat was made to suffer. And as soon as I get my wand back I'm going to hunt you down and kill you for calling me and idiot, you filthy little muggle.

**AAAAnd that's just about it. I'll be keeping Voldy's wand for now, in order to make sure that everyone stays ALIVE for the next chapter, and I can't have him threatening my lovely reviewers now, can I? So send in your questions, and I'll ask 'em! Thanks to our reviewers for totay's session, Yami-of-the-darkness, Cheetahluv16, and AliLuvsAli! Hope to see you all back here again soon!**


End file.
